dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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