you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
