You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
