i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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