Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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