Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize