Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
