I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
