I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I would fuck him just for his dog
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize