y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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