yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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