If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
