me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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