She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
