Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
