at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize