everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
