The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
