I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
