it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
never play flip cup with pint glasses
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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