Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
