a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
