he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
