just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
4 words: hood of his car
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
