Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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