As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
