break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
