he thought i was a dude.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
