Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
