He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
