How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
