think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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