Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
