I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
