You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize