reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
