How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
