Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
