Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
