somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
