He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize