I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
