I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
