I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
