Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
