belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize