there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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