I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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