i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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