i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
