No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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