ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
