i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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