I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
