May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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