The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
