In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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