I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize