I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
