I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Randomize
